Intellegent Design

design within reach

Originally uploaded by katiek2.

Joel and I usually agree on everything, but recently we have have this debate on egg harvesting. Not chickens, women. I mean they pay like 6 grand for you to give them some of your eggs that you would menstrate anyway right? I mean I could get myself a nice used Japanese minivan of my choice for that amount! But I don’t like the idea. I feel a responsibility for where my eggs go. I don’t like the idea of a child that is made of half of me running around and me not knowing them, or knowing how they will grow up. As a Christian, I have no problem with all the procedures to have natural children, but I find it is more honorable and an amazing challenge to be a parent who adopts an unwanted child. It’s full of difficulty that a parent of natural children do not experience and I have seen many ways that God has blessed parents that have adopted by giving them several natural children after they adopted one. I also know parents that had natural children and realized the importance of adoption and adopted children after their natural children had grown up. But what does that have to do with egg harvesting? I mean is their anything morally wrong with selling your eggs? Is it silly for me to think I have a biological responsibility for my egg? I think there is something to it. What if the child grows up in a non-Christian home? What if their family breaks up or they are abused? Am I crazy to feel some sort of connection to that? And am I wrong to think that adoption is an option that brings more than just a precious life to your life, but also humility that those of us that have had children naturally have not experienced (at least not the same way). Joel’s argument is basically not in his defense because it’s not like he thinks egg harvesting is a great idea, he just likes to sit back and shoot down my thinking. He also says with my logic, we should never have natural children and adopt first to give homes to those who need families. Well, we are commanded to take care of the widow and orphan. And I don’t think that just because you can’t ovulate doesn’t mean your the only one who should do that. I would adopt but adoption (like medical processes to fertilize and implant eggs) costs alot of money. I don’t have money. I may adopt when I am 40 and experience that beautiful way to parent. I have don’t have a huge problem with the fertilization of anothers egg in order to have your own child. I just have a problem with it being my egg. And the more I think about it, I just think adoption is the BEST option. Not the only option. I can’t be completely unbias on this issue because I have had natural children and I don’t know the feeling of not being able to have your own. It must be painful, disappointing, and like I said, there is humility involved that God honors. Sacrifice of self to take a child that is not biologically yours and may not look like you at all. The stigmata is harsh in some parts of this country. Not everyone gets it. I have grown up with many children that were adopted. It makes me weep with joy every time I hear that a family adopts.

I’m sure I’m missing some major loop holes, I am not a debator, I just speak what I feel. I may be concentrating on a bunny trail instead of the real issue. But I do know that I will not be putting my feet in stirrups for 6 thousand dollars. I can wait for that Honda Odyssey


6 thoughts on “Intellegent Design

  1. There are certainly no easy answers here…it’s difficult, but I think it needs to be talked about more. It’s not just science, but nor is it just feelings. The middle ground between the head and the heart can be too hard to find sometimes…

  2. Laurie

    Katie, You’re right when you said, “I don’t know the feeling of not being able to have your own. It must be painful, disappointing…” It is an incredibly bleak, lonely and desolate journey full of self-loathing and blame… and that’s from the mouth of a Christian! Can you imagine what it must be like for those who don’t know God? Anyhow, just wanted to say that, interestingly enough, I’ve been reading a lot of debates on blogs about the whole adoption/IVF/GIFT/egg harvesting/etc. issues. Even after our 6 years of experience of being smack-dab in the middle of the debate it’s no more clear to us. What finally sealed the deal for us NOT to pursue IVF with an egg donor was because it felt so much like adoption at a much sooner gestational age. Now, with our two boys, I’m SO thankful that we finally listened to what God was telling us and found our family. Okay, long enough. Thanks for making me stop, think and question my own opinion!

  3. I once was interested in learning more about that, because of the money, it’s so much darn money for eggs that are going to waste anyway, but then I started to think…
    What if the people using my eggs aren’t fit parents, and that part of me can’t let go, it would scare me to think that my baby could be out there, and I couldn’t know them. What if they abuse my child, I wouldn’t know but it would bother me to not know. Anyway, their my eggs, their my babies, and I don’t think I could just give them away for money. That’s just me, I thought about, and that’s the decision I made a while back when I was really struggling with money.
    And I am a firm believer that there is a reason why things happen the way they do, and I don’t like to alter those circumstances, I just go the course. So if I were in that situation where i couldn’t have children, I would adopt.
    I can’t speak for everyone though.

  4. kate

    I have really thought about this myself and I have to say we are on the same page….Jon suggested Serogacy (sp) to me….carrying someone elses sperm and egg to full term baby and giving them up to make more like 25-50 thou……no way. Couldn’t give them up at the end. If I carried them and bonded and felt them move inside, there is no way to give them to someone else. I have a lot of respect for moms who know that it is best to give their baby up after birth. Wow. What a hard choice. Ethics….a lot to think about.

  5. I’d be sad missing out on the pregnancy…I think women look forward to developing a bond with their unborn child and the feeling of having given life to them and a safe place for them to grow and “become” during those amazing 9 months. I had a love/hate experience with pregnancy, but I couldn’t imagine not having the option of experiencing it. All that said, we’ve talked about adopting ourselves…It’s just a different experience and I’m sure it has it’s ups and downs as well. In the end it just doesn’t get any cooler than looking at your baby (toddler-child-teenager-adult) and knowing that they are the “flesh of your flesh,” irreguardless of the cells and genes that started the growth and division.

  6. Forgot to mention, I’m sure (well, not totally sure) you have the option of keeping a relationship with the family you donate to, I think that irreguardless of what the “rules” are, if you meet someone, develop a relationship with their family and decide to help them out in this manner, you can probably decide between families what the terms of the arrangement will be. Legally, I guess you may not be able to force them into keeping in contact with you, but there are so many ways to do these things, you’d probably be able to donate to a family that you have had an opportunity to get to know. I’m sure there are options, though I’m not the expert…=)

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