You know you’ve had some of these days where even though it’s perfect outside and you want to be in a good mood you just can’t get there. I’m coming down from a week full of expectation and coming up short. I know this might sound wierd and a little bit arrogant, but it’s totally freakish that none of my work got into the KSU student show. They usually make phone calls letting you know where you can pick up work if it doesn’t get in, and if you got in. I might have not made the trip to campus yesterday if I knew none of my work got in. Kudos to my fellow students who got awards and got multiple pieces in. Good job!! But I can’t help but feel inadequate. As I listened to the juror explain why she chose what she did I felt validated, just a little. She was looking for more conceptual and maybe more studeous work. Some of the work was VERY student like, but others were very well thought out. I tried to be a good sport, after all this is just my student show. Rejection is never fun, and when I found out that Sarah also got rejected I didn’t feel so bad. The work she brought in today was beyond cool Oh, man I’m gonna haveto give paper cutting another try!
It’s good to see Ari and Tim today though. They were both at my house when I got home from class. It’s good to have friends around you, even if just for a moment, on your blah day. I look forward to giving Ari some art for her generous time loving on my kids while I went to class.
I thought briefly about going to class this summer as well, but I just can’t see how I can squeeze a semesters worth of work in 8 weeks, it’s just too crunching. I want to start some sewing projects, design Eden’s quilt, do some artwork that’s different like more watercolors or mini art, maybe work with paper mobiles more. Joel and Josiah will go camping this weekend and Eden and I will hang out and hopefully I can get housework caught up and some non-toddler friendly projects started.
My painting Garden Blessing looks more sci-fi than beautiful. I ended the semester with a whimper. Celebrate Beauty ended on a good note, but still needs some work. It could go in a cafe/restaurant setting very well. I hope the meeting at Radial works out. I have grown a bit sheepish about diving into another gallery since Hollis was such a bust. That might sound ungrateful, but it was, it was a bust. Nothing was sold and nothing was advertized. I could have done it better all by myself. So called “gallery representation” sounds so great coming from my professors mouth, but in the end it doesn’t do much for me. I have realized that my inspiration needs a boost. I have decided that I shouldn’t try to start something new until after I get back from my LA trip. I need some refuelling, a concept, a dream, a spiritual charge to communicate. I filled, FILLED journals in Norway and now I am grasping at straws. I don’t want to putz around anymore, I have to have a vision. Lord, bring me that vision. I’ve been praying for it.
The problem with trying to market yourself is that you leave little time for inspiration cuz you’re always thinking of what you’ve already done. Time to grow and move and perhaps paint less and realize more.
I’ll enjoy my break from school. I will enjoy my baby girl turning one, I will spend time with my family, I will vacation in CA and see good friends. And what I create in this time will be relaxing. Thank God!