Our plans for the future have been slowly making me feel numb and I haven’t been able to get past the fear of tackling so much. I know many of you think I have like super-mom powers because I do all these little projects, paint, go to school, keep house, take care to two kids, etc…. But I bet if we all made lists of the things we do everyday we wouldn’t be so different. Anyway, I feel like my feet are in cement with how little I get done. I tell myself I will accomplish things to get the house ready to sell but I find myself recoiling from it and finding other less important things to do. It’s gotten to the point of many tears, many prayers, and conversations with Joel that involve sharp honesty and that love that tests and burns and polishes your character so much your tired from all the buffing.
So I’ve been praying that God would give me the will to do something to get us to our next point. That next point is selling this house and moving to Chattanooga for the fall semester at Covenant College. So that means by August we need to have a plan if not be moved up to Chattanooga, have jobs, a place to live and sanity left.
After all the rain yesterday we were a discouraged couple of parents who really wanted to take our kids on a bike ride Sunday afternoon in our new bike trailor. But alas, the rain, the rain. I’m actually thankful for the rain, it was way to hot this past week. Anyway, we stood outside planning our yard-plan-for-sales and decided to get a buncha pine straw. As illogical as it sounds, Joel wanted to just plop pine straw over the rocks that now adorn the base of the three red maples in our front yard. Craziness!! I mean, the rocks are ugly. So ugly. They are a step up from dirt road gravel. They are a plague and make our house look like the ugliest one on the block (well, our house also needs a paint job badly, and the bushes Joel hacked down to nubbs are pretty sad too). But I HATE these rocks, and I’d love to agree with Joel that plopping pine straw on top of them would do the trick, but it just doesn’t work for me, “What if after a while the rocks show through?” “So what, we’ll be gone.” I know that makes Joel sounds really lazy, but he’s not, it’s just that ugly white gravel rocks in the front yard are the least of his ‘sell your home’ worries. So I promised him that I, yes ME, I would remove the ugly rocks to at least a lesser amount so that they would not create such a huge layer. This my friends is hard labor.
See, for those of you who have not been to our house, our front yard has a slope. Not a huge hill, but a good slope and the trees surrounded by the ugly rocks are at the climax of this slope. And it has been raining, soaking the ground wet for the past two days. I thought “Maybe it would be better to not shovel rocks while the ground is wet” But then I thought “when it’s sunny it’s hotter, the bugs are out, and I get burned”. I got out the shovel after the kids were down and I started. The rocks have landscaping plastic under them, so I could grab the plastic and kinda shove the rocks into piles but wrapping them up in little bundles didn’t work. These are rocks, they are heavy. And the plastic is old and shreds easily. My goal was to create thick patches of rocks so shovelling would be easier. It works pretty well because it also creates large patches of rockless places. This is hard hard work for me. I’m 5’3″ 135 lbs. After about 5 shovels full the wheel barrow is almost too heavy for me to push, up hill, over roots, to the backyard where I dump them at the door to our basement to make a gravel path (I mean these rocks are made for that purpose). I think women can do almost anything, but I know now for sure that my leg muscles are stronger than my arms. As I worked I thought of the word “labor”. I have given birth to two children. That was labor. I labored for 9 hours for Josiah, pushed for 5 hours. Labored for 12 hours with Eden, pushed for 15 minutes. Shovelling, in Georgia red clay mud, uphill, into a wheelbarrow I can barely lift, to my back yard, over roots. It was one hour and I was done for the day. But thankfully I am probably one third done. This my friends is what it will take for me to sell my house and move to Chattanooga. This will make my husband very happy. This will give me another notch on my belt for things I have done as a home owner. I will never look at home ownership the same again. Labor, I’d almost (I said almost) rather be having a baby.