This weeks SPC is pretty simple. Self Portrait with someone. And I must say that getting a picture with my son Josiah is easier than getting one by myself! He’s always around me and snuggles with me more than Eden (Eden is Joel’s snuggle bug). I love pictures with my son because even though everyone says he’s a min-Joel, which I am not denying, I look into his eyes and I see mine. In these pictures our eyes look the same. It’s wierd. Having little people that once were in you, are from you, contain parts of your make-up, yet they are totally independant people, crazy. My boy drives me crazy alot these days, but he also gives me great comfort. I find his letting go and desire to be with friends and start school (sniff) gives me a strange sense of freedom yet I ache for my first little one. The one who broke me big-time. He tested my faith over and over with his skinniness as a baby. He will continue to be the first to change me in many other areas. I am glad that my second child is a daughter because Josiah seems to be best boy experience I could ask for.
I also want to take a moment to quickly thank you all for all your comments and thoughts on my latest painting. I have not named it yet, and I have not finished it. I want to work on it like I’m jonesin’ for a hit, but I must prioritize. Tonight I will work again. I wanted to tell those of you that do not now how much emotion goes into this piece for all of us. I’m speaking of us young moms. This is a portrait of Juden who is 2 1/2 now and this past Easter fell from a 2nd story window. He had no major injuries. His mom, Linda, is a much more private person than I so I will not go into whatever I’ve heard etc. I know when I heard the follow up tale of her seeing a sparrow/swallow outside that same window in the spot that Juden landed and how it gave Linda such peace to know that God sent that little bird to remind her of His watchful eye; it touched a part of me that we all know. That sense that we are out of control and the One who created our children will watch over them and over US every day. Guilt, fear, beating youself up for choices you made. All these things are futile. God loves us as parents as much as he loves those little children. We are all important. As an artist who is also a full-time mom, I was determined to portray this. I have come to terms with the fact that my most powerul works involve things that are very close to home, like little kids. I think as women we still battle our choice to become a mother and how debasing it is on an everyday level, to have that choice elevated in fine art in something that I hope I can achieve over and over. Lord knows I run into moms that are embarassing ‘the Cause’ and also others who snubb their noses at me and my choice. I hope that reflection on parenthood will help vindicate not just my decision but the whole world of mommy-hood. We are weak and strong at the same time, and we are thankful all the time too. I am so grateful for all of you for looking and admiring. Please remember how special you are to God for parenting these little children and remember your Heavenly Father is perfectly parenting us all.
This is a better outdoor pic, not so orange.