SPT Glam #1

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This month’s Self Portrait Challenge I can get into. Even though I don’t feel like the most glamorous person. I don’t wear my hair all polished, I don’t wear heels, I don’t wear lipstick and I can’t really make it through classic movies. I know some folks are all into Audry Hepburn, eh, not really me. Ella Fitzgerald though, have a listen (thx for the tip J-nette) But even though I don’t need mascara really, I wear it every day. Submit mascara laden dark lashes under the macro and juice it up in Photoshop and there you have my glamour.
I know, my dear readers that you don’t sign up for this, but I have to share a bit. This past week and a half I’ve been feeling really cruddy. I haven’t wanted to talk about it that much because honestly I started to get worried. Worried that I was pregnant. I have been careful and I am that kinda woman that birth control works for. So feeling nauseous all day long and moody, falling asleep at 8:30. These things happened and I was waiting, waiting for the gumption to get a test. Last night even Joel was convinced. We talked quietly about how it would still be wonderful. So many of you all, my readers, have experienced unplanned pregnancies, and they seem so wonderful but at the moment of realization wasn’t it terrifying? Wasn’t it something you wanted to change just for a moment? I was groaning through my emotions thinking about going through it again. My biggest sadness was that I wanted so much to spend more time with Eden. I want her to be my baby a little while longer. She isn’t weaned, she loves to snuggle, she’s my baby girl and I want to have a little time when Josiah is in school so it can be just me and her. This morning at 5:30am Eden woke up and I realized that I wasn’t pregnant. I was so thankful. I love my children. I would like to have one more, but God is good. He decided that my wants were Ok today. I am a bit troubled that I felt so bad. It was like a week and a half of PMS. It’s annoying and I don’t want to deal with this every month. I have definately decided that I need to start charting again. And that means replacing my basal thermometer battery. It’s beepin’ kinda worbelly. Did I keep ya on the edge of your seat? Just a little bit?
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Glad I have just two.

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5 thoughts on “SPT Glam #1

  1. Oh I sign up for all of it. lol I share maybe too much and I think sharing let’s us feel we aren’t alone.
    So in that I want to say for the last 4 months I have had the same problem, PMS lasting much longer than usual, symptoms really exaggerated, and being late. I even went to get checked for premenopause, but it turned out okay.
    In that week or so of waiting, there would be so many mixed emotions, I know that if I were pregnant I would be happy, but it’s not necessarily something I wanted to happen b/c of the timing and such. It doesn’t take much convincing but as humans we prefer to be prepared. And is that really bad?
    Cyclespage.com is a good website to chart everything, except when it has a melt down and everything get’s a little crazy.

  2. Dude! That was me all summer!
    I even took 2 pregnancy tests at one point, because I so sure the first one was wrong (it was negative; so was the second; then I got my period).
    Not to mention the AWFUL grump. Like, WHO WAS I? I would random tantrums; I was so angry about stupid stuff. I started the Pill. I was reluctant, but I SO don’t want to be pregnant right now. And I figured even though it kicked my butt before, hey, how much lower could I get. And maybe it’s improved since then. And I’m not getting enough regular, predicatble sleep to feel comfortable charting.
    The Pill healed me. I am a new person. Never underestimate the power of hormones. I can’t believe that I had such an awful experience with it 5 years ago. I have my life back.
    Not saying that you should go on the Pill, but it’s helping me A LOT.

  3. I can’t say that I chart my cycle, but if I did I would use the software Ovusoft, http://www.ovusoft.com . Anybody who knows the Perkins knows how much we preach the Taking Charge of Your Fertility book by Toni Weschler, not just for birth control but also for planning.
    The ‘might be pregnant’ scare is no fun, even though I get used to the idea of another kid pretty quickly. I don’t know if Lynn’s body could handle another pregnancy right now. Plus, I just want to finish my PhD before another kid comes along…Please.

  4. If you still feel crappy in a few days I’d take the test anyway. Lots of ppl have implantation spotting. I’m sure that’s what you want to hear right now. . .
    And for the record, those of you thinking the Perkins aren’t the best spokesppl for charting, our first two were planned that close and our Phineas surprise was while we weren’t charting. So there.
    Also for the record my charting this time around has helped me find a hormonal imbalance that’s been contributing to my panic attacks. The Ovusoft really is great. You download it and down’t have to have internet access to use it once it’s downloaded. Let me know if you want it, I’ve been thinking about not having gotten you anything for your birthday. . .

  5. If you still feel crappy in a few days I’d take the test anyway. Lots of ppl have implantation spotting. I’m sure that’s what you want to hear right now. . .
    And for the record, those of you thinking the Perkins aren’t the best spokesppl for charting, our first two were planned that close and our Phineas surprise was while we weren’t charting. So there.
    Also for the record my charting this time around has helped me find a hormonal imbalance that’s been contributing to my panic attacks. The Ovusoft really is great. You download it and down’t have to have internet access to use it once it’s downloaded. Let me know if you want it, I’ve been thinking about not having gotten you anything for your birthday. . .

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