What a beautiful day it is here in the Southeast! The weather is just amazing, crisp, sunny, happy. I am just none of those things today. Ever since last week when I helped at Josiah’s Pre-K I’ve been battling these feelings about what to do. Josiah had a tough day at school again this week and I’m the one upset, not him. Josiah came home and told me that his teacher had to put him in time-out because he was throwing things. I really really hesitate to put this out there. But it is just so discouraging to me right now. Alli has a great little post about her boy and how she wants everyone to know how cool Fuller is. Well, Josiah oozes coolness. Everyone just loves my boy. He’s charming, gentle, funny, social, he loves the outdoors, he loves babies and older kids. And he gives great monkey embraces around your neck like those stuffed animals with velcro on their hands. I love seeing his lanky frame climb up ladders or run across large grassy places. I had a huge post about all my fears but this is something that I just have to keep to myself right now.
I am not very worried. I am just feeling like a little bit of failure. I want my boy to grow and learn and it’s seems hard for him. He gets really tired and goofy.
I’ve thought about trying some sort of music class and seeing if he thrives with that. He sings so well, he’s dramatic when he sings. And when he had a chance to hold a little cello and play or toot in a clarinet he was thrilled. I also am swallowed up with fear of him not being “normal” or “accepted”. I have those in quotes because none of us really are either of those things 100%. I also am washed over with the weariness of home sales and moving, mortgages and money and under all that weight is a creative little girl wanting to squeak out some art here and there. Lord help me, I’m feeling rough.