I was having one of my many conversations with Cat yesterday about Clothesline business and I had to stop in the middle and tell Josiah for the ump-teenth time that “Mama is talking on the phone, and I can’t swordfight right now, can you please be patient and wait?” Josiah just loves LOVES to pretend to defend the household from bad guys. Stormtroopers, enemy ninjas, pirates, whomever might be attacking me while a sit and eat, check email, talk to my Mom. It’s getting harder for me to want to be defended, because with this involves getting stepped on by size 13 feet, and getting jumped on by my 44in tall string bean boy. Joel of course is a team player, taking Jos out to the porch and swordfighting with plastic pipes. We go to Barnes and Noble to escape the heat, and Josiah finds the Star Wars books, the Lightning McQueen noisy books, and anything Ninja Turtle. And Eden, what a girl. She loves her brother and follows him into every adventure, carrying a kazoo upside down turning into a laser gun. Screaming with joy as she runs from invisible enemies into the nearest corner. At the bookstore today she participated in the craft at storytime coloring with delight a party hat that she promptly had me put on. She wore it proudly tucked on top of her pig-tails. And as Jos found all the adventure books he wanted, Eden sat down and opened a Disney Princess book (while I wasn’t looking) and inhaled every page. She cradled an Angelina Ballerina doll and would only let it go when I suggested she found a nice quiet place for her to sit. She is a girl through and through.
When I am with my son I am able to reason and have very interesting conversations. Even when I screw up bigtime I can tell Josiah that I made a mistake and I shouldn’t have spoken to him with such mean tone. Josiah knows I make mistakes, he knows I cry. I can’t even hide that I’m upset from him anymore. Because he’s my friend. He’s with me more than my husband is everyday. I enjoy his laughter, and I enjoy his imagination. I know that he’s so bored, these days before school. I wish I could find another option so he wouldn’t be so restless. I had a hard time with my little friends yesterday. Too much screaming, not enough self control, too much selfishness on all of our parts.
I have to remember that even though a lot of times I am tired of being with my kids, I also have to remember that when I am older and they are grown they will be my friends if I keep them close to me. Doesn’t mean we’ll have everything in common, but I should try. My brother and I are very close to our parents and that must be such a gift. I want my kids to always feel comfortable to hang out with me while I work, fold my laundry, watch strange TV shows together. I created these little friends, well sorta, God knew them, I’m lucky enough to be with them so much. It’s not so romantic every day, I just was reminded today, after having such a hard yesterday.