We start school tomorrow. Another year at Battle Academy. You can tell Josiah is super excited. His teacher is Mrs. Holden, she was the only first grade teacher to win a Presidential Award for math and science this past year. I’m excited that Jos will have a teacher that has been teaching for 33 years. I think there’s probably nothing he can throw at her that she hasn’t seen before. I’m sad to see the summer end. I feel that my boy grows up and grows more independant. I feel like I need some Josiah time. Like a date or something. He’s my son, there are things I felt with him that I never have felt with my girls. I wish I could rewind a bit and redo some things about this summer, but alas, it can’t be undone. I feel I’m losing my playfulness with him because his playfulness is getting too rough for me. He’s got pointy pointy elbows and knees! But I just want to talk to him about his dreams and fears, his imaginative stories and the jokes he has with his friends. I want to slap a bunch of hair gel on his head and laugh for 30 minutes at all the funky things we can do with his hair. He wants to grow it out long. *sigh* my mommy haircuts aren’t good enough. I just want that leash short, just a little while longer. So even though my heart isn’t breaking the way it did last year, I still will be sad that he’ll be gone all day, out of my reach, more time that I have to undo all the influences he’s had. I need to build up time to be his buddy again.
So with a bittersweetness I say goodbye to summer. I wish that this heat would go with it. I just don’t remember it being this hot before we went to the beach. The kids don’t even ask to go outside anymore. So when we go out for a family walk we return half empty. It was wonderful and toasty to hang out at Liberty Cooper’s 5th birthday party, and the next days at Bea’s and the Luce twins. Also a sweaty joy to reunite with Lynn and her boys at the aquarium. I am thankful for the short joys that I’ve had this summer. I wish I could turn it off and on when I like , but now that I’m a slave to school I have to switch gears and find those joys in the learning and growing of my kids.