loves to swing



loves to swing, originally uploaded by katiek2.

My little love, my Tessa. She growing like a weed in front of me and getting harder and harder to call a little baby. She’s a big baby now. She crawls at lightening speed and pulls up on everything. She’s got 4 sweet little teeth and eats lots of goodies with those teeth! Her faves are spaghetti, pears, beans and quinoa and of course banana. Big chunks of banana that she shoves in her cheeks and also plops them on the floor (for me to scrub up later). Before I say “when Tessa’s big enough” *boom* she will be big enough. I’ll be potty training, and strapping her in the bike trailer to ride around the neighborhood. Her hair will get longer and I’ll be brushing it to the side, barretting it, pigtailing it.
But for now, she’ll curl up in my arms and her head is smooth with the fuzziest blond. She waves her arms in the air and I mimick her and she grins as wide as she can. And my-oh-my is that wide because she doesn’t have the dimples to stop her.
I missed my Tessa during these busy weeks. I stayed over night with friends and fell asleep thinking of her. I worked through Clothesline, thinking of her and never giving in to those thoughts. I should have. I should have come home to my little house and spent some quiet time with my littlest one. I don’t know if I’ll have any more babies. But each baby I have I mourn a bit of their littleness. I love love love 9 months. Tessa is quickly approaching it. The energy, the laughs, the beauty of 9 months. I love it. I wish to spend more time with just my Tessa, so I can become her friend not just her caretaker. And these days I haven’t been much of that.
I say no to certain obligations just so I can be here, and take things slow, naturally, to be the arms my baby can cuddle into. And cuddle her I wil, even at 1am.

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