I haven’t learned my lesson

001

As I trudge through each two-hour window I interact with this painting, this HUGE commission, I don’t think. Haven’t I figured out the method yet? It’s been 12 years at least of painting. I attack the canvas, feel great about the bold colors, the great start. Then, I try to cheat, try to wrap it up early. No, the painting doesn’t let me, it get’s uglier. And uglier. Until I have to perform some emergency amputation on it. Paint over large, beautiful sections of color and pattern with one big repeating color, hopefully able to save the composition. When the painting is only 22″x28″ it goes pretty quickly and I have a pleasing, practically finished result after the next two-hour stretch. But no, this one keeps kicking me down.

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I have hope. I know that it’s getter better but I need to have a good chunk of time when I’m not fighting sleep or the drawing in of the couch. I didn’t think the size of this painting would matter that much, but is has. Almost like my eyes can’t communicate with my brain to take it all in and complete the composition. I have a feeling I’ll be praying over this one. I have a goal to finish it before Thanksgiving. I’d love to finish way before Thanksgiving so I can get started on other things that I would really really love to do.

006

These small little sections have come together though. They are giving me hope for the fuller, more mature finished painting that will come. So maybe I do have a process. It’s trial and error. It’s frustrating every time, but it’s there. I still wish I had a formula. It would save me time, and stress.

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4 thoughts on “I haven’t learned my lesson

  1. ((hugs)) You are being hard on yourself.

    Yes- I am not seeing the whole thing. but what you are showing is indeed lovely and your body of work speaks to the fact that you are indeed a wonderful artist.

    If you had a formula- you wouldn’t be you. You’d be Bob Ross http://tinyurl.com/2lo5ma and while I love the man (soooo relaxing to watch and listen too!) formulaic is not something that makes your art what it is.

    Hang in there. Pray on it. I will too. One time when I was in great need and calling out to the Lord, I heard him clearly say, “it will be okay.” and it was. And this will be too.

  2. Lord, send your Spirit to move through Kate to be your instrument. Thank you for this commission and for her gifts. Use them for your glory to redeem creation and to be salt and light. Reveal your glory in her art.

    1. Thanks guys! I didn’t mean for this post to seem so bleak! But I guess it did come from inside of me.
      Thanks Kirk for your prayer. I’ll hold on to that with each piece I do. I sometimes forget those things and I always need to remember.
      I’m getting closer and closer to my goal, and with that is the tension of ‘almost, not yet’. Can’t wait to take that big sigh of satisfaction!!

  3. I think I get this frustration a bit. Mind swirling with art that you just struggle to get out the way you want. Keep at it Katie, I know it will be great. Your work always is and you’ve got a beautiful start. Maybe don’t do it when your frustrated, come back to it,breath deep, pray and then do what God made you do to.
    What a sweet brother you have:)

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