I should know better

up to the summer sky, originally uploaded by katiek2.

You shouldn’t blog when you’re upset. But I am, I am ticked! So many things have made me grouchy lately. Circumstances that I do not have the grace to just let go. People that I respect and love making me upset. Most of these things do not effect my everyday, but I am so upset about the foundation of these things it makes me want to scream and cry.
I realize I have probably disappointed people the same way. Made them want to scream and cry. What is God trying to teach me? I feel like a mad, emotional teenager all over again. I’m right all the time, aren’t I? Being trapped in my house to do nothing but think about it doesn’t help. I wanna eat a buncha something bad for me, or put my running shoes on and run right out the door. I guess I can’t do either of those things, not right now.
Oh, Lord, I just need grace. I especially need the grace to not get upset in front of my kids. It doesn’t help inspire love and good relationships. I guess that’s the same reason I won’t get upset at the people that have caused me to feel ticked. I have to choose to love, even when circumstances suck.
Ok, I’m done.
Josiah just gave me a big hug and it melted me a bit.


3 thoughts on “I should know better

  1. I know it’s hard but you must just let go and let God. This is a phrase that I have returned to many times in the past few years. We just got back from 4 days at Creation Fest East and once again I was reminded of this phrase.

    Let Go. Let God.

    and ((hug)) those darling kids of yours.

  2. alltheseblessedthings

    Dude. I feel like this at least daily. Thanks for letting the filter down and sharing. May you have peace. And clarity. And the gumption to keep asking big questions. And grace to hear big answers.

  3. telling someone how they’ve made you feel is an important part of letting go. there is freedom in telling the truth about what you’re feeling. telling someone that they’ve hurt your feelings takes courage and grace, like you said. being open and authentic and honest is our way to god, it’s also our way to healing in relationship. may you find boldness in these days. i love you.

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