Tessa turned three a couple days ago. She was born on the 29th of December. She’s our baby, maybe she always will be. Today she’s sprawled out on a pallet on the floor with a barf bucket nearby. Poor girl.
As Joel and I watch her grow and enjoy her beautiful personality, we shake our heads and I say,”How could we ever live without our Tessa?” I’m sure that most parents say that about their kids. Even if it was #5 or #6 that they were surprised with. That miracle baby that makes it past the birth control. How can we live without them? They teach us about ourselves, and fill in parts of the family that are missing. We’ve planned all of ours.
Each parent has their own journey. Whether they have one or 8 kids, each family has a reason to be. Ours needed a Tessa. We are very blessed by her. She gave me a chance to be a mama to a little one all over again. My big kids are all full of themselves sometimes, Tessa still needs me not to leave her alone. Her language skills are a journey that leaves me constantly amazed and entertained. The big kids don’t have patience for her some of the time, but they are totally in love with her. She is our missing piece!
I still can’t believe she’s three. It’s always and uncomfortable place to be. I’m around friends who are bopping a baby on their knee who is fussy or wiping spit up off their shoulder, or they have to stop, plop down and nurse at the drop of a hat. They are sleep deprived and taking their baby with them to social gatherings. I am past that. It’s kind of nice. But the idea of being “done” makes me sad. I just turned 35, and for me that has been a boundary. I have not held back a family I could have had, God did.
My Tessa makes me glad. She looks like me, and she’s a ham. She’s expressive, possessive, girly and independent. She’s always been a mover. She climbs and runs and pedals. She is a great companion to her sister, and I treasure these days when they play so well together. I love to brush her baby blonde hair, smiling that I have a blonde child. How’d that happen? She’s got so many beauty marks, it’s fun to sit with her and count all of them on her nose, eyes, head, arms, legs.
As I look back on pictures of her (non of them in hard copy, ain’t it a shame!) I am full of love all over again. I am so thankful for the children I have been given. She is a gift, the icing on the cake. Just when we thought we had enough to be happy, Tessa overflows our cup. Happy Birthday my sweet baby. Every Christmas, you will always be the best present I’ve ever received. You keep on giving. I love you, sweet girl.